"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
Sir Winston Churchill

I would like to have that much confidence in myself to believe that I can look to the future and make history. I bring up a way too often used cliche by saying that I want my life to count. I find that I am generally lazy and a procrastinator. These are faults that I am trying to correct. I am like most dreamers in that I want to be a part of something big. But I don't just want to be a part of it, I want to create it. I want to be part of the process that is responsible for not only its conception, but also its implimentation. I dream big but fail to understand how to make my dreams become reality. I can write the future in my head but cannot figure out how to bring it into exsistance.

I believe anything is possible but then the realist in me wins by saying "it's been done before and failed" or "that would take way too much money to pull off."

I see things in my mind that have never been done before in our community (at least not to the degree that I see them being done) and I feel like I'm missing it. I believe I am where I am supposed to be but I feel like I am not being faithful in the small things.

Sometimes finding the launching point is hard. I hate the confines of the four walls of a church building but I am shy by nature...yeah me shy. Funny isn't it? I want to have the boldness that Tommy Barnett had when he put his desk on the front walk of his inner city church so he could be a part of the community. He's one of the whitest guys I know of. That's boldness! Where does this confidence come from? I want to harness it and bottle it up so I can pour it out on me when I feel like crawling in my shell (or my office) to retreat from the world. I want to make a difference...
...
...but how??